Breaking Traditions
by thisiswhenwetalked
Summary: She misses him. She misses his warmth, and security, and his comforting words. She told him she needed space, that she always spent this day alone. But that was before. One-Shot.


Requested by llameerah.

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She watches listlessly as the early morning light fills the room. She woke a couple of hours ago, resigning herself to her wakefulness after hours of tossing and turning in the night. A glance at the clock tells her it's just past seven, so with a small sigh, she pushes back the tangled sheets and pads out of her bedroom to the kitchen.

She leans and braces herself on her elbows against the island, fingers teasing the edge of the small calendar displaying today's date.

January 9th.

The day her mother died. No, the day her mother was murdered. The day she was torn from this world by men trying to hide what they did to make a quick buck.

She let her head sag, running her fingers through her unruly hair. Did it ever get better? Did this weight, this crushing despair and longing ever go away? Fourteen years later, her mother's killer is dead, and Bracken is under her thumb, but the pain they caused is still there. The dull ache that comes from a slow-healing wound. The ache that becomes crippling on days like today.

She runs her hands over her face and stands. Turning towards her coffee maker, she hesitates when she notices the small, folded piece of paper that bears her name in a certain writer's graceful script. He must have left it last night before he left, allowing Kate to have her space on this day that means so much to her.

She picks up the note, starting the coffee machine before flipping it open.

_Thinking of you today. Do not hesitate to call if you need ANYTHING. Even if it's just a strawberry milkshake from Remy's._

_Love,_

_Rick_

She can't stop the small smile that blooms across her face. That man. She knows how much he must hate not being here for her, not being able to just hold her in his arms and make it all go away. It was that compassion that first drew her to him. His love for his daughter and mother above all else. It was her first glimpse of the man behind the mask. The man she fell in love with.

She subconsciously traces the word above his name over and over. _Love._

The first time he said those three words, both their worlds were crumbling. It was chaos- the glaring sun, the screams of horrified onlookers, the bright crimson blood on his hands- _her blood_-

He had begged her to stay with him, the words tumbling out of his mouth as if they would somehow force her to live.

And, in a way, she supposed they had. The second time he said them, she forced him to walk away, too blinded by her investigation to see he was trying to save her life. It was only when she was an inch from death, hanging off the side of a goddamn _building_, that she saw what he was trying to show her all along. She was about to die, thrown from the roof by one of the many who had wreaked havoc on her life, and all she wanted was him. This case had nearly destroyed her, crippled her, kept her from living the life she wanted. A life she could have. A life with him.

She loves him.

She knows she does. She's known for a while now. And even though she can't quite say it yet, she hopes he can see it. The smiles she reserves specially for him, the light caresses of her fingers as they draw patterns across his chest when they lie together in bed, lazy and sated. The way she can't seem to stop touching him, especially outside the precinct, where all she wants to do is burrow into his chest and let the feel and smell of him consume her.

She misses him. She misses his warmth and security and his comforting words. She told him she needed space, that she always spent this day alone. But that was before. Before she had someone she trusted to hold her up when she was at her weakest. Someone who made her feel like she didn't have to go through this alone.

Making up her mind, she quickly finishes her coffee and returns to her bedroom to get dressed. She pulls on some clean jeans and a turtleneck before putting on some light makeup in her bathroom. She slips on a pair of dark boots, and shoots Castle a quick text, hoping he's awake, as she shrugs on her favorite black pea coat, and finally throws her hair back into a quick ponytail. Downstairs, she hails a cab and gives the driver the all too familiar address.

She waits at the gate of the cemetery, slowly pacing back and forth as she waits for him to arrive. She's never done this before. Visiting her mother's gravestone was Kate's personal tradition, but this time, she needs him to be a part of it.

"Hey," he greets her with a gentle smile as he steps out of the cab.

"Hey."

He pulls her into a tight hug, placing a small kiss to the crown of her head. She lets them rest there for a moment, reveling in the feel of him, before pulling back and taking his hand.

"Come on, Castle. There's someone I want you to meet."

"Really?" he says with a hopeful little smile. She reaches up to place her free hand at his neck and pulls him down for a languid kiss. They break apart, and she rests her forehead against his.

"Really," she breathes.

Letting go of his neck, she gives his hand a tug and pulls him after her into the cemetery. They make their way through the maze of headstones, and after a couple minutes, she stops at one of the graves beneath the wide canopy of a nearby oak.

"Mom," she begins slowly, "This is Rick Castle. The one I told you about. We're, uh, together, now. Finally. And I thought he should meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Johanna- Mrs. Beckett- sorry-"

Oh, he's nervous. She feels a rush of love towards the man, this stupid man who can schmooze with the _mayor_ for God's sake, but bumbles when confronted with her mother's headstone. She snakes her arm around his waist beneath his jacket and gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"He helped me catch them, Mom. The guys behind all of this. I couldn't have done it without him," she continued, Castle turning and pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

Kate went to sit down on the relatively dry grass, tugging Castle along with her. Sitting side by side, she rests her head against his shoulder.

"She would have loved you." It's barely a whisper, but it's enough.

"I'm sure it would have been mutual."

When the tears come, she doesn't stop them. They flow silently down her cheeks and onto Castle's coat. When Castle finally notices, he gently shifts them so she is in his lap. She buries her face in his neck as he simply holds her, stroking her hair soothingly with one hand. The sobs come unbidden, and he holds her tighter as her broken breath and tears wash over him.

He aches to take the pain away, to make sure she never feels this way again, but he knows there's nothing he can do. The thought of her doing this alone makes him want to draw her into himself and never let her go. But this is Kate Beckett, independent woman. He knows tomorrow she will be back at the precinct like today never happened. But just that she brought him here, let him see this part of her, makes him love her even more.

Her sobs slowly quiet, and the tears eventually subside. She lifts her head and meets Castle's eyes briefly before leaning up to press her lips to his. She tries to pour all of her gratitude and love into the kiss, hoping he gets an idea of how much this means to her. They break apart, and she stands, turning to help Castle up behind her. He laces his fingers through hers and leads her back towards the entrance of the cemetery.

At the gate, she stops him before he reaches out to hail a cab. He turns back towards her, an adorably confused look on his face, and she takes his other hand in hers.

"Thank you," she breathes.

"Always."

She can't stop the smile that forms at the word. Their word. The one that means everything they can not say. And even as she thinks of the words, they come spilling out of her mouth before she can stop them.

"I love you, Castle."

The smile that blooms on his face takes her breath away. And when he kisses her this time, it is nothing like the others they shared that day. This was one of rejoicing, of celebration, and of so much love, Kate thinks her heart might burst. He lets her go, that goofy smile still plastered on his face.

"I love you, too. Now, how about that milkshake?"

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**Okay, so, um, that was my first fic. Please review, it would be immensely helpful. Be gentle with me.**

**Also, if you have any more one-shot requests, I want to write more, so you can either PM me here or on my tumblr (katebeckettsboobs).**

**Thanks for reading!**


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